Friday, March 7, 2014

SXSW 2014 Preview

"Oh my God, is this the line?"

"Where's the end of this line?"

"This line is SOOO long!"

"Is this the VIP line?"

"Are you a VIP? I'm supposed to be in the VIP line?"

"My name should be on the list!"

"I have an email telling me I'm on the VIP list!"

"What is taking so long?!"

"Is this an RSVP party?"

"Do you know what we're standing in line for?"

"Is this the bathroom line or the drink line?"

"What's the free liquor here?"

"Oh my God! You look just like my friend! You don't know him but you look just like him!"

"What does THAT wristband mean?"

"Oh, I saw them play for like 20 people two years ago."

"Ugggh, this used to be so much cooler!"

"All they have left is the bean burritos! What the fuck?!?"

"This place is lame."

"These people are lame."

"This band is lame."






"Who else has free beer?"

"It's so hot!"

"It's so cold!"

"What's the hashtag for this party?"

"Did you get in to Rachel Ray? The food was so good!"

"Did you get in to Lady Gaga?"

"Where do we get free Doritos?"

"Pro Tip."

"I'm a pro."

"Trust me, I've been coming here for years."

"$6 Lone Stars? That's ridiculous! I live here! You should have separate prices for locals!"

"They should have separate entrances for locals."

"I'm not cutting, my friend was holding this spot."

"Why is this line moving so slow!?"

"Ugggh! I hate hipsters!"

"Fucking hipsters!"

"Hipsters are ruining SXSW!"

"Iron Works is the best BBQ in Austin!"

"I love the sound of the banjo!"

"I want to learn to play the banjo!"

"That banjo player is so cute!"

"I was going to see this metal band from Myanmar but I got tickets to see Jimmy Kimmel. Snoop Dogg is going to be there!"

"Is it Snoop Dogg now or Snoop Lion?"

"I'm so tired!"

"I'm so hungry!"

"Where are we going?!?"

"Do you have a lighter?"

"Shiner Bock. Is that local?"

"What do you have that's local?"

"Do you have draft beer?"

"What's good? What do the locals get?"

"What's a cool, out-of-the-way place that only locals know about?"

"What's your Twitter?"

"I don't think I have a QR thingy?"

"Do you have a charger?"

"I need to find an outlet!"

"What's the Wi-Fi key?"

"Where's the afterparty?"

"Where's the after-afterparty?"

"Who's the surprise guest at the Fader Fort?"

"How do I get tickets to the Samsung party?"

"Where is Kelis' taco truck?"

"Where can I sit down?"

"Is that too far to walk?"

"How do we get a cab?"

"Do you have a number for a cab?"

"How long ago did you call the cab?!"

"Why won't these cabs stop for us?!?"

"You can't pee behind that dumpster!"

"You can't pee in that alley!"

"You can't pee on that building!"

"Have you seen BAND X yet?!?! They are so good! I think they're playing again, you HAVE to see them!"

"Are you going to Fader this year?"

"Have you been to Fader yet?"

"I got my Fader wristband but I don't know if I'm going to go this year."

"Fader is such a clusterfuck this year, it used to be so much cooler."

"Fader was better when it was west of 35."

"Remember when Kanye played Fader?"

"Remember when Kanye played the power plant?"

"Remember when Prince played at La Zona?"

"Remember when Justin Timberlake was here?"

"Remember when Snoop Dogg was here?"

"Ever notice how that one Lady Gaga song, sounds kind of like that one Madonna song?"

"SXSW was better before."

"I hate Rainey St."

"I hate Dirty 6th."

"I hate the eastside."

"The sound here sucks."

"This venue sucks."

"This free event sucks."

"This band is boring."

"I don't see what all the hype is about."

"Sounds like The Strokes."

"Sounds like Gang of Four."

"Sounds like The Stooges."

"Jumped the shark."

"Andy Langer's Facebook post."

"I saw on Twitter that the line is short over there and they have free Bloody Marys."

"Red Bull."


"I don't know, someone just handed it to me while I was walking down the street and now I'm ingesting it. It's ok. I probably wouldn't buy it but I'm hungry/thirsty now so..."

"It's free, you just have to tweet about it."

"It's free, you just have to download the app."

"It's free, you just have to give them your e-mail address."

"It's free, you just have to pledge your allegiance to a bag of Funyons."

"It's free, you just walk a block in that direction."

"It's free, you just have to like them on Facebook."

"I just drove here with no plan of attack and no place to stay."

"My friend's lodging fell through and he needs a place to stay, do you know of any cheap places near downtown?"

"My girlfriend and I are thinking about moving here."

"My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving here."

"Well, I'm from L.A. and in L.A...."

"Well in Brooklyn..."

"Do they have ______ in Austin?"

"OMG, THEY DON'T HAVE ______ IN AUSTIN!?!?! _______ is HUGE in San Francisco. I can't believe you don't have _______."

"I thought everyone would be wearing cowboy hats."

"Do people here like Rick Perry?"

"How long does it take to get to Salt Lick?"

"Nope, I missed it."

"Nope, I was in line outside."

"Nope, I didn't hear about it until today."

"So bummed I wasn't there."

"I saw that on Instagram."

"I saw that on Twitter."

"Who have you seen so far?"

"Where are you coming from?"

"Where should I go tonight?"

"Who's going to be there?"

"Who's playing?"

"I don't know, my phone is dead."

"I don't know, I lost my phone."

"I don't know, I don't have any reception."